In the past I thought studying theory would hinder me. How can you be original if you learn everything that has gone before? To a certain degree I still have this belief. After all, some of the greatest musicians of all time had very little theory knowledge.
However, I have changed my mind as well. I figure to break the rules you need to know them. So, I've set out as I always have, and tried teaching myself the vast array of subjects that I have been discovering. I've come to the conclusion though that this is probably not going to work very well. I need structure. I'd like to study composition correctly. This opens another can of worms though.
Most composition courses are at a university level and full time courses. In reality I am unable to leave full time employment to go back to education. I simply can't afford to live and feed my family. Even if I could, entry in to most courses requires a high grade level on an instrument. I'm ok on the guitar, but I am self taught. When I look at the requirements for grade 1 I'd be unlikely to pass it. I'm also not sure I'd want to change my guitar playing now.
My next line of thought is to get a piano, and to embark on proper tutorial with a teacher. How long would it take me to get to a good level? And then I'm still unable to study composition full time. I could find a composition teacher online. I'm sure there are plenty of experts in the field that take cases like mine, but I don't think that would be cheap. These people are professionals, this is their living, they deserve a good wage to pay for their skills. Again, I'm not sure I could actually afford it a present.
I guess I just need to carry on as usual, blundering along and teaching myself. It's not ideal, and I'm not entirely sure I'll ever be a good composer as a result. But it is what it is. I don't feel I have any other option at present.
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